By: Mover el Bigote
I never gave much thought to tipping when I lived in the UK. It was (an easy to add) 10% for taxi drivers, hairdressers, and waiters/waitresses (if something hadn’t already been added to the restaurant bill). Poor service – round down. Abysmal service – no tip. Good service – round up. Great service – add a bit more. Oh and perhaps buy a pint for your favourite barperson at the pub, but that would be very unusual. The thing was, in my mind, the amount I gave was linked to the level of service.
That’s all gone out the window in Philly. Keep us waiting, be surly and mean, spill our food and drink all over us – no matter what you do, you’re going to get a 20% tip. Many service employees are paid minimum wage here. They live on tips. Plus some taxing authorities assume they’re getting about 12% extra – so if you don’t tip, they’ll wind up paying for the pleasure of serving you. Argh!
In some countries tipping is rare or very minimal. It might be viewed as “showing off” or even insulting. ‘You don’t think I’d give you good service anyway?’ ‘You think I’m hard up?’ So the US can be tricky place for foreign visitors. And if folks are like me, and come from cultures where the tip amount is related to the quality of service, this place is going to seem crazy. Here’s a helpful video about the complicated rules of ‘merican tipping.
So how much do you tip?
Vickie:
Tipping in this country is always vexatious, but you’re right; service does count when you’re leaving a gratuity. The problem in resturants is that the industry pays less than minimum wage to their servers – about $3 to $3.50 an hour. They’re expected to live off tips, but another problem at their end is that they have to share their tips with the busboys and other help, so at the end of the shift, if they haven’t done well, they in effect were working as involuntary philanthropists. My favorite tip recollection took place in Brisbane some years back. I took a vey long taxi ride and tipped the driver handsomely. He looked at me as though I was crazy. In Australia one never tips unless the waiter performs open heart surgery to save your life.
I and my family tip 20%, raised for very good or friendly service, lowered for very poor service. When I went out a lot more (eheu fugaces!) I also carried little cards, the size of business cards, saying “If the service had been better, the tip would have been bigger”, so that I wouldn’t be mistaken for someone who merely didn’t know how to tip.
Kept you waiting? A fact of life in big-city restaurants, and probably not the waiter’s fault — the kitchen staff is beyond your waiter’s control, and the vagaries of the other customers are beyond their control.
Surly and mean? Downgrade the tip. On one extreme occasion in a very snooty French restaurant, I left a penny plus the card. The waiter confronted me on the way out: “What was wrong? What was wrong?” I said nothing to him and marched out. On the other hand, I once in a fit of absence walked out without leaving a tip. My waitress bravely came after me, saying “Was anything wrong?” I paid her and said “No, I just left my brains behind at home, that’s all.”
Spill food on us? Depends on the attitude. Most waiters will be apologetic to the point of servility. If anyone were not apologetic, I would certainly forget the tip.
I don’t tip my hairdresser, because she’s the proprietor and sets the prices. I do tip the employee who washes my hair, or if they’re busy and she cuts it too.
My motto on taxis: “If you can’t afford to tip the taxi driver, you can’t afford to take a taxi.” But I’ll short the tip or leave it off altogether if the driver ignores my driving directions or drives like a maniac (though I have of necessity liberal standards for this: many drivers know only “full down on the gas” and “full down on the brake”). In NYC, taxi drivers are also proprietors, but they don’t set prices — the city does, and helpfully provides signs and pamphlets in the back seats explaining about American tipping habits.
Credit cards, taxes, and tips: In general, tip on the amount of the bill before tax only. The restaurant doesn’t charge tax, they only collect it. However, credit card companies take 2-5% of the whole amount (American Express is the worst) off the top, so if you put a tip on a credit card bill, the waiter is getting less than you think. Compensate just a bit for this, or if practical leave the tip itself in cash rather than using the handy additional line. Waiters will bless you, as that means they take the money home tonight rather than when the owner gets around to it.
Full disclosure: I’ve been married for 30 years to an ex-waitress. She taught me almost everything I know on this subject.
Marc and John, what a wealth of advice for travelers to the US! Thank you both, and particular thanks to your wife John. Ha! And goodness, we need it because, as you demonstrate, US tipping customs are complicated.
I think many non-American readers will be astonished to read about your cards, John. And it’s also interesting that the waitstaff would challenge a customer who hadn’t left a tip.
And you’ve both reminded me of something else. If I go somewhere in the world where they don’t tip, I have no problem with saving my money and doing it their way. But is it hard for Americans not to tip abroad? I’ve noticed my ‘merican husband getting very twitchy about it. ‘Are you absolutely sure they said we shouldn’t tip?’ ‘I think we should tip anyway’.
Vickie:
Americans who feel guilty about not leaving tips in countries where the custom is eschewed, lose face with the natives when they do; the natives misinterpret the generosity of the deed as a failure to understand their culture, although in most cases they’re perfectly willing to take the money, while saying to themselves, “These Americans are really jerks!”
Yes, the generous tips of travelling Americans must have put a smile on the faces of many, many bell boys, taxi drivers and waitstaff around the world. (I’m sure ‘may they keep doing it’ would be my feeling if I received one.)
But I also think the tips might not always have made the impression the Americans expected. A generous tip might lead to a rise in the givers esteem in the US, but a ‘What a mug! response elsewhere, or the perception that they are throwing their money around and showing off. And at worst, of course, it could be interpreted as an insult to the receivers.
I heard about an interesting document given to servicemen billeted in the UK by the US Navy in WWII. If I remember rightly, one of the bits of advice about getting along with the natives was about avoiding displays of wealth. I’ll see if I can dig it out.
I’ve always tipped pretty much like the guy in the video does, except if service is horrible! Then I do as I was taught, and leave a penny. That way the waiter knows that you didn’t simply forget to tip. On the other hand, I feel enormously guilty if I ever forget to tip.
Oh Ginny, thank you. Thank you!
I think you’ve helped me get a grasp on this that both Marc and John had been yelling out to me too, but it had been falling on my deaf-cottonwalled-European ears. Duh! You tip a penny!
A penny is nothing. But a penny signifies that you know the rules of the game, so it’s everything. And that matters here in the US.
Where I come from, if the service is dire, we can avoid embarrassment by ignoring it and leaving no tip. It wouldn’t occur to us to leave a penny. Nothing is no comment for us, but here customers are more eloquent – perhaps because service matters more – goodness knows. But I think it might be because politeness dictates that there’s more of a connection between waitstaff and customer somehow? (Who is still fumbling around in the dark a bit and would apppreciate all enlightenment)
The only reason I don’t leave a penny nowadays is that I don’t usually carry one around any more.